


I'll pay off my debts in hell one day

by Kobuntan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anger, Comfort, F/M, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Nightmares, One Shot, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 23:35:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3187427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kobuntan/pseuds/Kobuntan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since you live with a commander, from time to time his nightmares shows themselves. Just like tonight, Erwin is haunted by horrific dreams. His screaming wakes you up..</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll pay off my debts in hell one day

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin or its characters.

The room was pitch black, and freezing cold. A horrified scream woke me up. I opened my eyes, shivering, cold as shit, even though there was a person lying next to me. The hair on the back of my neck and my arms wouldn't stay down. It was one of those nights, when I found myself shaken awake by Erwin’s loud muttering, and the fact that our blanket was lying on the floor and warming it up instead of us. I swung off the canopy bed, making some space between us, grabbing the blanket. I had been through enough nights like these to know how to deal with Erwin having nightmares, and not being around to get punched was one of the options. It happened twice already, after the first time he refused to share a bed with me for weeks. He was scared that he might hit me by accident again, it was depressing and frustrating.

For the second time, I lied to him that he did nothing, even though my leg hurt for almost a week. Come to think about it, Levi was pretty upset back then. I was called a brat more times than I can count, only because I was slowing down the other members. Or so he said. Ridiculous, I was the best among them, how dare he. _That tiny Corporal._ As a Corporal he was good, very good, but as a person he was hard to approach. I light the lantern, making some light in the room, and looked at the discomposed man next to me. My eyes were gritty and I was bone deep tired. The left side of his face was now illuminated by the light. His face, how delightful it was.

"Erwin." I said, keeping my voice gentle. Placing my hand on his shoulder, he didn’t respond, only a soft whimper escaped his lips.

"Erwin.." Repeating, slightly louder, this time shaking him softly.

The blond haired guy shook violently, twisting around not knowing where he is, after a while he faced me. His eyes lighted with a quick, responsive fire, ready to attack. I stretched my hand towards him.

"Don't you touch me!!" his usual calm voice turned into a scream, his husky voice echoed in the room, his breath coming in a sharp gasps. His muscular body was shaking of anger filled with pieces of fear, the more he tried to control it, the more violently it shook. His eyes had darkened with his anger. There was a split-second when I froze, I was slightly afraid, this was my first time seeing him like this. Usually he wasn't this violent after having a nightmare, Erwin used to be silent not mentioning what haunted him. His eyes widened.

"Get out! Leave!!" He raised his voice again, receding back. Ignoring him, I laid my hand on his cheek. Erwin jerked, glancing at me with burning eyes. His breathing was unstable, it took him quite a while to recognize me, and then he gladly let me pull him closer, my arms coming around him.

"It's okay, I'm here. It was just a dream." Erwin was still shaking, I could feel his trembling body under my hands, his lips were pressed on the corner of my neck. His shirt was all wet, as if it would be just washed. After a while his heart slowed and his breath became regular.

"Want to talk about it?" My hands started to softly massage his nape, making him feel at ease.

"They were g-glaring at me. All of them." He started his explanation, narrowing his eyes.

"All those people that died outside of the wall. Their stares full of hatred were piercing through my soul and they drove me into a corner. I couldn’t escape their blaming words." Pulling me into his embrace as close as he could and tightening his grasp with each next word.

"I fed titans with so many people." The annoyance in his voice was growing bigger. It took him few minutes to calm down. Silence filling the room.

"I'll pay off my debts in hell one day." He broke the silence. Slowly, I pulled him away enough to meet his eyes. He looked so vulnerable. I'd never seen him vulnerable before.

"You have too much burden on your shoulders. You have suffered enough, thinking that you could've done something. It is time to leave that behind. Forgive yourself, Erwin." The blue sky matched the blue in his eyes, though it was filled with so many dark clouds. He opened his mouth once again, I could read the apology before he even spoke it.

"I'm s-"

"It's alright, you did nothing wrong." My fingers pulled away a blond strand of sweaty hair off his face. I felt sorry for him. I wasn't able to do anything else except comfort. I felt weak during such moments. He leaned closer, he was so near that I felt my breathing change, trapping the space between our lips. I did not feel cold anymore. His kisses were tender and slow at first and then more demanding. His lips were dominating our kiss, my still cold hands stroke up Erwin's back to tangle in his hair, he shivered a little. His lips were soft, but they tasted a bit salty. His kisses were so pleasant and yet somehow greedy.

Gently breaking off the kiss, I tilted my head and pressed a firm but close-mouthed kiss on Erwin's lips. He leaned for another kiss but I moved back, placing a finger on his lips. His face was painted surreal by the yellowish lights of lantern. I knew it’d take quite a while for him to get back to sleep again. He was that type of person who preferred work instead of sleep. Most of the time I had to force him to sleep. From time to time I wanted to tie him to the bed.

"Erwin, you have a lot of work today, again, you'll be tired. Come now, you need to sleep." We sat on the bed in silence for a while, looking at each other. I believe he was startled by his own thoughts and pushed them aside.

He sighed defeatedly and lied down, he tucked me into his body. He looked like a huffy child, not being able to receive what he wanted. His left hand holding me tightly in his embrace, stroking my hair. I lifted my head a little and looked at him, placing a soft kiss on his nose.

"Sleep now, I'm not going anywhere. I’ll be always by your side, I promise." He breathed a sigh of relief. Outside the raindrops started to fall on the parapets. They gently smacked against the parapets, that mere soothing sound would make anyone feel calm and relaxed. I always loved to sound and smell of the rain.

"I'm not giving you the permission to do so." He grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers in mine and squeezing tightly. Erwin slowly closed his eyes, after a while of shrugging to find a good position, he was breathing steadily, letting me know that he is asleep. Looking at his face, finally calm and peacefully asleep. I smiled at the scenery in front of my eyes, he looked like a sleeping angel. I placed my lips lightly on his cheek, kissing it.

The blanket which was kicked on the floor was now placed on us. I laid my head on his shoulder, placing our tangled hands on his chest. I could feel his heartbeat slowly coming to its normal throbbing, Erwin rolled on his side and pulled me into his embrace, breathing on my hair. A small giggle left my lips, closing my eyes I snuggled closer. The rhythmic sound of rain was lulling me to sleep.

After that night, his nightmares disappeared as if it would be a work of a magician. Although they were still there, but not that often. Maybe he forgave himself, maybe he did that for me, I will never know. I felt relieved but at the same time I was still worried about him. He became calmer and thought about the future rather than the past, he couldn’t change after one night.

This was what I knew for sure...


End file.
